Are you really going to jerk me around like this? You send me your stuff, and I get my boss all excited about it, and now you just decide to take it back?ĪLAN: I mean this isn’t about your job alone. I’m sorryI’ll submit it somewhere else.ĪLAN: Well, Steven…I mean, Jesus. STEVEN: But then all it takes is one Google search or Lexis-Nexis and I’m out of work. Do you realize how easily you could become a leading national figure for us? Every gay man in the country should be reading this piece. You make a million points in it that are smartGod are they smart. I like my teaching job!ĪLAN: Look, it’s a good essay. STEVEN: I know this is supposed to be a compliment…But if I lose my job because he prints my real nameI can’t afford to live in L.A. He’s asking me how many other friends I have hidden away who can write like you. This could lead to something big for you. And let me tellya, Bob was surprised to find out you teach PoliSci in Utah, because you write like someone fromĪLAN: Bob said he’d pitch you for other jobs with some of his friends around L.A. STEVEN: I don’t want to freelance I want to teach.ĪLAN: I know. He said you could freelance for the rest of your life with absolutely no problem. I showed Bob those other things you wrote on the internet. STEVEN: There’s no negotiating here! I’m dead serious!ĪLAN: Steven. STEVEN: But he can’t run that essay without my pseudonym. This is far and above what we normally get from our But in all honesty, Bob has a very small subscription base outside of California. We’re all being drug back into the dark ages. I can’t come out on this piece.ĪLAN: The Catholics are in the same boat. STEVEN: And that would be the end of the job for me. We’ve got a new Dean at the college, and he’s very nice and very supportive and very Mormon. STEVEN: I can’t come out on this piece, Alan. STEVEN: Oh, Godis he going toĪLAN: Let me tell you how we can make this work. That’s why I wanted to find you before the conference ended tomorrow, and you left to go back I couldn’t wait to show it to Bob.ĪLAN: Umyeah. Like I said, this is some of the best stuff you’ve ever written. But this is cleaner, you know? It’s almost a distillation of your style. I mean, it couldn’t get any more apparent that it’s your style of writing. But the pseudonym.ĪLAN: He would’ve found out about it sooner or later. He’s gung ho to publish it in the next issue. STEVEN: So…he’swhat? He’s not going to print it?ĪLAN: Oh, no. It’s notwhen you asked me to submit, you didn’t mentionĪLAN: Yeah, we don’t do anonymous either. The pseudonym is a problem for us.ĪLAN: That’s our policy. Did your boss sayWhat did your boss think?ĪLAN: Bob…well. I’m glad you liked it.ĪLAN: Confidentially: you may have just saved my job for me. ALAN: I thought it was probably one of the best things you’ve ever written.
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